white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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