I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
