She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
where are my eyebrows?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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