Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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