i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
