I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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