Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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