Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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