I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
