Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
