the new term for farting is butt boxing.
false alarm. still invincible.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
A bitchslap is in order.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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