I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
