I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
