Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
It's official drugs can't kill me
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
