Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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