sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
