OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
