Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
We had sex on a dog bed..
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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