Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
