I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
