hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
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