Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
