Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
