i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
then he tried to convert me to islam
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
