I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
