you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Randomize
