mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
