Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
