I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Someone shit on the floor
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
