you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
