Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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