i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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