I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
people are starting to question the shark bite story
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
