you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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