break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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