sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
