idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
