I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
