she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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