I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
