do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
