just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
