I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Randomize
