I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
They are going to name an STD after you.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
