I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
