HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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