I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
