had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
