My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
