none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Are we in a gay sports bar?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
