i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
