we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
